my hands

from farming i can see changes all over. my feet are missing skin, my toenails have permadirt, my ankles are ant-bitten. my arms are scratched and my neck sports a burn mark. i even have a cliche farmer's tan. all just little things. but my hands, the change in my hands seems to hold the greatest significance. i have always had elegant hands. long fingers, soft skin, hands that betray an affluent lifestyle. now they sport healing blisters, scabby cuts on the fingers, jagged cuticles, scuffed skin. i no longer have nails, and what is left is brown. the beginnings of working hands.

now that pongal is done and finished, school is back in session. yesterday i met my class of tamil village children. they are lovely and smart. i am helping them with their already amazing english skills. also with their self confidence. it is intense. you can see the influence of the caste system, you can see the influence of the western world, you can see the influence of ingrained traditions. i will have to work hard in a new way now.

undoubtedly my hands will turn back into affluent hands. the scabs will fall off and the nails will grow back, and i won't even have a scar to show for my work. but they will remember. for later, when i want to be a farmer again.